Welcome to the Edge
What is the edge? The edge is a precipice between one place and another. The boundary between what is and what could be. The experience of the edge is often characterized by intensity and extremes. The edge is a place of unknowns and risk, and a place where there is very little clear direction about the next step. It is the space of transition which often leads us to be both excited and afraid. Hopeful for the movement to the next place, and simultaneously terrified about leaving the comfort of the familiar. It seems that we find ourselves on the edge often in our lives. It can emerge during big shifts like the edge of a career or the edge of relationship, but it can also happen with something as seemingly insignificant as the edge of a choice.
It is an intense place to occupy, and often we express that we feel frozen, stuck, unclear, and without direction. So, to stay “safe”, we prolong the process, and hold fast to the familiar and comfortable. We begin to develop a fear and mistrust about the space between, when in truth it is the space of pure potential. This space just outside of the familiar is where we learn to TRUST, to understand that it is all about us, but it is so much bigger than us. The less we cling, the more we can feel supported to make the choices that will lead us to greatest ease on our path. Once we step out into the unknown, the next phase of our lives opens to us. But that first step, for most of us, is the hardest one.
The choice to leave the familiar for what is right or good for our life takes a warrior’s heart. When we take that initial step into the unknown and in doing so, we open a path straight to our center. For so many of us, this is scary. We’ve invested so much time and energy into becoming that we have forgotten our own true being, the unchanging, purposeful, power within.
It is here at the edge of a quiet moment, or a dramatic life change, where we have a choice. We choose to step out into the unknown away from comfort because we sense it will bring us closer to who we really are. Taking this step will bring us closer to who we are becoming.
Friends and family may think we are crazy. Our colleagues might question our sanity. But when we make the choice to honor the call home to ourselves, we become courageous warriors and we feel aligned. The doubt and fears that we once had don’t disappear, but they begin to ttake a backseat to the hope, excitement, and knowing that surface when you step over the edge. We may do unexpected things like quit our jobs or leave a relationship. We might become unpredictable and spontaneous and go back to school or become a yoga teacher. We might allow our true selves to show up in ways that we never allowed before by falling in love or planting seeds in the ground. Regardless of the way your choice will manifest, the edge that we surf is terrifying and exhilarating, and entirely worth it.
If you find yourself at this edge, welcome. You are not alone, you are among good strong faithly company. Together we are stepping over the edge and supporting one another as we wake up, feel more authentically, dive into practice, and make choices that will change our lives and in doing so change our world.
Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:
Establish yourself in TRUST. Trust in the process, trust in yourself, your inner voice, your preparation. Remember YOU are the point.
Be cautious about leaning too much into faith. Faith requires us to cultivate belief whereas TRUST requires no believing, it is belief itself. When we TRUST, outside evidence becomes an added bonus instead of the needed proof.
When you are in the intensity of the edge, the only practice is to keep going. Focus all your energy in what you know is true. Keep going, even if you are tip-toeing. Keep showing up to whatever is offered.
Be in relationship with your inner voice. Do a practice every day that tunes you into YOU. Your inner guidance, your truth. Don’t worry about what anyone else says, inhabiting the edge is ALL about YOU.
Don’t wait for Perfection. The desire for things to be perfect in order to make choices is a way we orient ourselves to what’s right/wrong, good/bad. So when we have no orientation, the absolute definition of the edge, we feel that it’s imperfect and something is wrong. Act from your gut instead of from proof.
Be fully engaged in the process. It’s the process itself that is the point, so don’t disregard it in an effort to escape discomfort.
Choose growth. When things are most challenging or confusing, see these experiences as an opportunity to refine and grow. Riding the edge is an opportunity to become more mature in our efforts. Apply your intelligence to your experience. Slow down, invite presence, feel your emotions, and watch how you evolve.
Be gentle with yourself. The edge is scary. It’s a difficult place to be. It’s exciting and full of potential, but often without clear and predictable outcome. If you find yourself seeking old comforts, or feeling discouraged, it’s ok. Be accepting of your humanness and recalibrate your efforts.
And lastly, take care of yourself. The edge is hard and you will likely be questioned rather than supported. Show up for yourself like you wish others would show up for you in these times.
Call your Heart back
How do we deal with the fragmentation that comes with complexity? No one can argue, we live in trying times; politically, socially, environmentally, technologically, and personally. We are navigating through a continually changing arena of questions and challenges. As we move through this complexity, a feeling of completeness can be enough to keep us going. It’s time to call your heart back. In the midst of heartbreak and disappointment, it’s essential to put your Self in the center. We MUST realize that the continual output of our energy into other people’s problems, into judgements and blame, into resistance and fear, is draining us of our vital force.
We must realize that this outward commitment, though honorable in theory, is actually the prime dysfunction in our world today. We have broken our own hearts and tossed them out into the world as a way to show our love. We have placed expectations upon others whose hearts are fragmented to bring us to wholeness. We are giving away our heart in so many directions and so many different ways that we are internally shattered.
We must STOP looking outside for our deliverance, to Yoga, to religion, to our politicians, our spouses, our community. We MUST start turning inward and owning what we find. We MUST start arriving into our communities whole and offering our wholeness. It’s time for us all to call our hearts back. To return to the state of wholeness and completion that allow us to show up fully in all aspects of our lives. We must cultivate a strong relationship with ourSelves. Then and only then, will the change that we so deeply desire start to take root.
I bet you know what I am going to say. Practice right? But maybe there is more to it than that. If our practice is simply another opportunity to fragment the sweet wisdom and guidance of our heart by trying to do something “right,” or achieve an outcome, then maybe Practice alone isn’t the answer. If we are using our practice as yet another opportunity to doubt, criticize, fall short, or condemn ourselves, then our practice isn’t supporting our growth. At least not by itself. The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali says that the highest level of Practice is Abyasa and Vairagya, Practice and Detachment. See, according to this revered Sage of Yoga, we can’t really have one without the other. We can experience the heights of Samadhi unless we are unattached to them.
Our culture gets all wound up about the word detachment. They think it means lack of caring, or coldness. They think it means renouncing all that they love and value. Detachment in the west is synonymous with rejection. So let’s provide some clarity about detachment before we move on.
Detachment is feeling without an object. We can feel love, but not attach that love to a specific person, experience, or expectation. We can be “in” love, macerating in the beauty, joy, and sweetness of the moment without attaching that feeling to an object. We can do the same with anger, fear, joy, excitement. You name it. And what happens when we can fully and completely experience the feeling without dependency on the object of it? The feeling grows. The feeling becomes more impassioned, more expansive. We can make clear commitments, because our commitments are no longer made out of fear or clinging. We no longer try to manipulate situations in any favor, because the experience becomes more important that the outcome. We can work through our disagreements because we are unafraid of loss. We can fully step into our power, because we realize that the source of all feelings is within, not without. We step toward possibility instead of shrink from it, because there is no dependency on outcome, and in it’s place we find an innate and unwavering trust in experience itself.
When we practice Vairagya, we empower ourselves. We become Self contained, Self centered, full of ourSelves. It’s from this place that we can reach outward with the greatest effect. We stop inhibiting and start inhabiting. And inevitably we forget, and get swept up by life again and again. This is when Abyasa becomes essential. We practice to continually remember. Who we are, why we are here, what we can do to most fully align with what is good for all. We practice to recalibrate, to reset, to allow, and to accept. Our practice provides a training ground for our challenge. Whether contrived in the form of asana, or experienced as a deep emotional unfolding, we practice because it sharpens the tool of detachment. If we could exist fully within Vairagya in all moments, then we would practice to give thanks for the opportunity to experience all of the feelings, processes, relationships, battles, and ecstasies that the simple act of living provides..
How do we call back the fragments of our hearts and begin to heal? We continually seek the moments of wholeness and land in them: the mat, the cushion, the rock, the trail, the dance, the soil, the sunset. In those moments, feel the recognition of your infinitely expanding capacity, and yield to it. Start to grow those fleeting recognitions. Inhabit them. Remember you are real, that you are purposeful, that you deserve to be whole. Practice loving yourSelf, in all of its brokenness and imperfection. Forgive yourSelf for the mistakes you have made, and give thanks for the lessons you have learned. Stay inside the challenges that you want to run away from until they have resolved into growth. Be unwaveringly honest with yourSelf. Value yourSelf, your existence, your experience, your wisdom. Honor that knowing, every day. Find the path of practice that tunes you into what you need.. Do it. Every day. Yes, every damn day. Your practice will not make your life easy. It won’t deliver a new existence to your doorstep. But it can light you up inside, help you remember your innate wholeness, support your innate purpose, and orient you toward LOVE every day. Your practice can call your heart back, and it’s only with a whole heart that we can truly make a difference.
The Real Practice of Yoga Starts Now…
At the moment of completion after Savasana, when you roll over on your side and transition from your practice back into the world, I always say this line, “the real practice of yoga begins now, when you take what you’ve learned from your practice out into your life.” It’s not just a line. I truly believe that what you do on your mat is practice, reflection, and training for how you live your life.
At the moment of completion after Savasana, when you roll over on your side and transition from your practice back into the world, I always say this line, “the real practice of yoga begins now, when you take what you’ve learned from your practice out into your life.” It’s not just a line. I truly believe that what you do on your mat is practice, reflection, and training for how you live your life.
Today has been a perfect example. After two days steeped in practice, I woke to a stuffy nose, a kid who refused to get out of bed, a car that barreled out in front of me, then flipped me off. Everything in me wants to rage, to point fingers, to scream and yell and wallow in my self righteousness. Yet, it’s in that moment that I practice. Even in the rising anger and frustration, I call upon years of practice and study to find a moment to make a choice. Do I move toward the balance and calm that I discover on my mat or do I lash out and react to the situations in which everyone’s perception is unique and colored by their own unique experience. Do I meet these situations with compassionate understanding or with reactivity and blame?
When I’m on my mat, I encounter myself. The tightness in my hip, the burning in my low back, the collapse of my chest. For years, I would meet these tendencies with a push back. A “NO” and then spend my time in my practice either running away from the sensations or berating myself for my imperfections. Years of practice and svadhyaya (self study) have taught me to turn toward the discomforts and shortcomings and to meet them with love and acceptance rather than a forceful desire to fix what is broken, or make right what is wrong. And this has radically changed my experience of life.
As I move away from striving for perfection in my practice, I have stopped viewing my imperfections as flaws. I have started to appreciate my unique imbalances as expressions of my individual truth, ones that make me authentically and beautifully me. Once I made this shift inside, I stopped teaching Yoga as something to achieve. If you are truly doing Yoga, you are simply and beautifully waking up to yourself, discovering the Yoga that exists at all times within, rather than the forceful practices and corrections that we so often characterize as practice. When my practice started to shift in this way, so did the way I viewed the world. I now realize that everyone, literally EVERY ONE, has the same struggles with imbalance and imperfection. EVERYONE has their difficulties and their unique expression of beauty and purpose. I don’t always agree with everyone, but at least I can move toward understanding them, because I am beginning to understand myself.
Rather than feeling that the calm serenity of my practice was stolen from me by the reactions of others and the frustrations of living life, I have begun to see that all of my life is an encounter with my practice. And outside of the controlled environment of the yoga class, the practice becomes more essential. The opportunities to encounter the tight spots, the desires to run away, or the intensity of discomfort are way more evident. The choices to stay grounded in truth, and meet each occasion with acceptance and love is more challenging, and even more fulfilling.
When my morning unfolds in a less than perfect way that’s when the real practice of Yoga begins. When I can open my heart in love, even while being stern with my kid, when I am compassionate to my slower pace because I feel under the weather, or when I can look the guy in the eye as he has his middle finger in my face and think about loving him rather than fighting back, then and only then is my practice is working.
Let's Start a Yoga Revolution
ALL REVOLUTIONS BEGIN AS EVOLUTIONS
I have worked for years trying to meet the mainstream examples of an adept yogi. I stretched my body beyond it’s limits, I filled my mind with teachings and directions. I approached my mat like a surgeon, ready to cut and repair my practice into perfection. Until one day I stopped practicing and started listening, and it was revolutionary. Though not quite in my 40th year, I feel my body resisting the rigid structure of effort and achievement that I’d been striving to obtain for two decades. I witness that when I threw caution to the wind and ALLOW my body to explore sensation, movement, and breath, the experience of Yoga, rather than the practice of it, is the result. I am mystified and terrified, but also excited. Even though I’ve been teaching for years, it feels daunting to offer this new approach to my students. For now, my teaching is evolving into a dialogue of trust and discovery rather than a demand to perpetuate the status quo.
Maybe this makes me a renegade or some sort of nuisance. It definitely makes my classes an acquired taste. The mainstream idea that yoga is about bikini clad arm balances is not the Yoga I want to be teaching. Though the asana I teach is full of opportunities to be stronger, it is not a fast-paced, fitness driven kind of strength. Instead, we explore an innate strength that arises from within; an unshakeable trust in yourself. That’s what I want to be teaching: THE FULL POSSIBILITY OF WHAT YOGA CAN BE. I continue to stand on a strong foundation of Millennia old teachings, and trust that the forms of asanas shape and move our energy in ways that enhance our vitality. And I will continue to study with amazing teachers. Am I infalible? Hell NO! I have blind spots. I have places within me that I have hidden or locked away that need a teacher or a teaching to crack open. But I no longer want to be solely dependent on the authority of others to guide my experience.
In this revolution, we will know that we don’t have to master a picture-perfect handstand in order to be a yogi. We don't have to twist ourselves into complex shapes or harden our core to be successful. We don’t have to disregard the messages of safety that come from our brains and our cells. When our Yoga becomes our revolution it evolves to embody the unique essence of beauty and perfection that exists inside of each of us.
The most challenging part of evolution is trust. We can’t get behind a revolution without it. How do we quiet the voices of doubt and fear and criticism (both inside and out) that say that this approach isn’t yoga? How do we allow the experience of yoga to rise up from within, rather than feeling like it is perpetually something we have create on the outside? WHAT WOULD OUR YOGA LOOK LIKE IF WE REALLY TRUSTED OURSELVES? What if we were the ultimate authority of what was best for us? Here’s where the real revolution begins.
We are returning to our innate guidance. Regardless of opinion, we are pursuing the possibility that Yoga is something that is sourced from inside of us and not something to achieve or attain. As we mature our understanding, our practice transforms, and if we are lucky, we get to share that with others.
This is the new Revolution of Yoga, and we are on the front lines. Are you ready to join us?
Reprint with Permission from ViraBhavaYoga.com